dude i'm inner monologue high
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize