Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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