Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
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stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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