I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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