I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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