I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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