ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
