I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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