I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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