This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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