I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
