i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
