just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
