I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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