hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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