Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
