Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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