This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
