In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize