I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize