i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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