My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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