It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You can't special order awesome
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
