he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
