walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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