i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
