I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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