I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
