i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think people are normalizing furries
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
