that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
