I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
