Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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