i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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