Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
