I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
