I didn't shave. On purpose
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
