the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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