He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
