omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
