so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
