I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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