If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
why is half of my head shaved?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
