dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
