What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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