I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize