is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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