Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
