Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
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