the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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