I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the condom got lost in my hair
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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