He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
