I love black thongs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
