i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
