The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
