Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
