don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
