Already got asked if we're dating
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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