try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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