i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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