I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
