a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
