You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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